The “Uh-Oh” Moment in Relationships

In a time long ago, I presently dont’ think much of, though I remember this memory quite vividly. For how could I forget? A gimp fist came flying into my face – for girls rarely know how to punch properly – it hit directly against my jaw, throwing me in shock. That was a time to reconsider what kind of relationship I was in.

Relationships are an enigma that I don’t even pretend to comprehend. I find clues here and there, that help me put together this giant jigsaw puzzle, that ends up resembling a red apple. An answer that never seems to help me figure out anything.

One of the pieces that do make sense to me that have come to my attention is that every relationship goes through a very troubling moment. A moment I like to call the “Uh-Oh” moment. It is the instant when one member of a relationship acknowledges an act that their other commits. And at that moment red sirens blare, marking the beginning of the end.

The problem with the “Uh-Oh” moment is that it is very inconvenient. It never comes at the end of a relationship, though it is the Jolly Roger that marks the finale. In-fact it comes at a time when all seems well, and right. At that instant, subconsciously you see the other slip. It maybe as obvious as my initial example, but often times it is a subtle motion that is overlooked by the conscious, such as below.

“A while ago we had been out drinking, and serenading the evening together. A wonderful time was in store for us. I had left to make a beer run, and grab a few drinks for us and some other friends. When I had return, she fell into my arms, telling me how she’s missed me. Words followed to great extent, that she would reach the ends of earth for me, and even die for me. Sincere and affectionate that’s how she was. It became apparent that that would be the “Uh-Oh” moment I feared, subtle and graceful. It slid under my radar. But now that I look back upon it, it probably is a catalyst i should’ve paid attention too. Who knows maybe things could have been different?”

Most of us upon seeing this moment occur; we do not choose to end the relationships, instead we figure we might as well drag the dead dog across the carpet and hope there is enough static energy to bring it back to life. Sadly, there rarely is. That point marks the flourishing of a new beginning, or the decay of a putrid relationship.

The one who realizes the “Uh-Oh” moment will often become a fighter who’s confronted a foe they will eventually lose to no avail. The other of course is oblivious of this, and they are merely along for the ride; though they would be much better off being let go.

It may seem obvious that I am slightly skeptic here. Not true(of course i’d say that). Not all relationships endear the “Uh-Oh” moment though most have to hit it at one point or another. Those that due are the ones that will often fail. Not because an “Uh-Oh” moment is the end, but because its a test of maturity. To save a relationship from falling apart during this time, it becomes important to realize that maturity is required. Hand in hand with “love”, or what is perceived as love, it becomes possible to overcome this quandry.

Part of maturity is the ability to comprehend that instant gratification is not always the best course of action. When realizing that an “Uh-Oh” moment had occurred, it is best to pull back, analyze the relationship, and see the odds of it truly surviving if continued. If one can honestly justify that the relationship can overcome this, then wonderful. You have beat the odds or you’re a rocket scientist of an idiot.

Most others who aren’t in denial and realize that they need to reconsidertheir standing maybe able to plant a seed. This seed will flourish once both parties have had time to reconsider their relationship and what the future may hold for them, with and without each other.

So my advice( and you’re dumb if you ignore my advice) is if you see an “Uh-Oh” moment. Don’t Panic. Think how can you fix this, and not by the constant beating of a dead horse, but how can you fix it for a long-term friendship or relationship of sorts. Be mature, and grown up. It’s hard. I know I struggle with it, but its one of those tricks I think you learn better with age.